I Won't Leave My Wooden Wife For You, Sugar
The United States Of America
The United States of America (1997)

Now listen, Baby,
And try to understand
That tying you is fine
And whipping you is grand.
Now I just can't tell you how much fun it's been.
You make me feel twenty-five again.

But I can't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar
I got a split level house with a wonderful view, sugar,
A couple next door who do the things we do, sugar,
And every Saturday we sit around the pool.
If I should meet you on the street someday,
I hope you'll understand me if I look away,
It isn't that I'm ashamed about you and me
But I've got to consider my morality.
And I won't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar,
I got a split level house with a wonderful view,
sugar,
Three sweet kids and Yorkshire terrier, too,
sugar.
And I just couldn't stand it when you chome late from school.