Bad Meets Evil
Eminem
The Slim Shady LP (1999)

[Cowboy]
I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts.
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon.
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over.
Sheriffs couldn't stop 'em. Quickest damn gun-slingers I've ever seen.
Got murdered in cold blood. That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home.
They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern... and on a quiet night,
You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da 5'9".

[Eminem]
I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet
I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat
I translate when my voice is read
Through a seismograph, and the noise is spread
Picked up and transmitted through Royce's head (Uhh...)
Trap him in his room, possess him and hoist his bed
Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead
Told him each one of his boys is dead (Ohh...)
I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said:

[Royce Da 5'9"]
Who hard? Yo, I done heard worse
We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other
To see which one'll swerve first
Two blind bandits — panic
Whose mental capacity holds that of a globe
On top of nine other planets
Kissed the cheek of the devil
Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble
Peakin' on speakers in the ghetto
Dismissal — I'm not a fair man
Disgrace the race of a' atheist
Interceptin' missles wit' my bare hands like a patriot
One track sight without source, I buried the Christ corpse
In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse
And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nation
Collaboratin', attemptin' to take over the Earth

[Eminem]
'cause this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Above the Law 'cause I don't agree wit' police either (Shit, me neither.)
We ain't eager to be legal
So please leave me wit' the keys to your Jeep Eagle
I breathe ether in three lethal amounts
While I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle
Releasin' rage on anybody in squeezin' range
Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezin' rain
(He's insane.) No I'm not, I just want to shoot-up
And I'm pissed off 'cause I can't find a decent vein

[Royce Da 5'9"]
The disaster wit' dreads
I'm Bad enough to commit suicide
And survive long enough to kill my soul after I'm dead
When in danger it's funny
Actually, my flavor's similar to a waiter
'cause I serve any stranger wit' money
I spray a hundred men until they joint chains
While slippin' bullets at point blank range, like they was punches
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you
Then come to your funeral service lobby
And strangle your body to confirm you
Whippin' human ass, throwin' blows, crackin' jaws
Wit' my fist wrapped in gause
Dipped in glue and glass. I'm blazin' MCs —
At the same time amazin' MCs
Somehow MCs ain't that eye-brow raisin' to me
From all of angles of us
Flash a MAC loud enough to cast a' avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt

[Phone rings]
Hello?
(Billy)
Aiyyo, what's up?
(We're comin' to get you.)
[?], they know it's us!

[Eminem]
I used to be a loud-mouth, remember me? (Uh-ah.)
I'm the one who burned your house down (Oh.)
Well I'm out now (Shit.)
And this time I'm comin' back to blow your house up
And I ain't gon' leave you wit' a window to jump out of
Give me two fat tabs and three 'shrooms
And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin' ready to leave
I'm 'a put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Royce Da 5'9"]
'cause this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel

(We'll be waiting.) See you in hell.
Wall Street, Royce Da 5'9", Slim Shady.
See you in hell for the sequel (Bye-bye.)
Bad Meets Evil. What. (Till next time.)

[Cowboy]
And so, that's the story of when Bad Meets Evil.
Two of the most wanted individuals in the county,
Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens.
It's too bad they had to go out the way they did.
Got shot in the back comin' out of that ol' saloon.
But their spirits still live on till this day.
Shhh... wait, did y'all hear that?

[Footsteps and windblowing]