Unchained Monologue
Dubstar
Goodbye (1997)

"I love you" means "do what I want you
to"
"I promise" means I'll tell you what you want to
hear
"Believe me" means I'm trying very hard to deceive
you
"The rest of my life" means "for the forseeable
future"
"We'll always be together" means we're too scared
to split up
"I want us to live together" means I think this is what
you want, though I don't, but we'll probably split up soon
anyway
"I didn't stop thinking about you" means I thought
about you once on the way home from a great night out without
you
"It doesn't suit you" means I'm too polite to
tell you that your legs are like corned beef
"I'm not pissed" means I'm so pissed I reckon I
can convince you that I haven't had a bottle of Jim Bean with
my flatmate
"I didn't look at anyone else" means I went out with
the girls, got so drunk, snogged every man I spoke to, and I'm
feeling really guilty
"I want to have your children" means I'm pissed
"It happened a while ago" means I haven't stopped
thinking about it since
"What are you thinking?" means I daren't voice my
feelings until I know exactly how you feel about me
"You don't understand me" means I've been lying
to you from the very start
"I like you a lot" means I'm trying to persuade
myself that I do
"I need some time to myself" means a night in with your
best friend

Don't worry, the voice in the background is only the TV

"Just friends" means I've slept with him once and I
fully intend to do it again
"Don't you trust me?" means if you believe the crap
I've just told you...
"My ex" means my greatest regret
"I don't fancy anyone else" is a lie
"I'm so confused" means I know what I want and
it's not you
"This isn't working out" means I've no intention
of making sure it does
"We've nothing in common any more" means we never did
but it seemed like it after a few pints
"You still have a special place in my heart" means
I've met someone else
"Can we still be friends?" means I know I've just
broken your heart
"I don't believe in love" means I've been hurt
and I'm too scared to get involved again
"I don't want a serious relationship" means sex and
no consequences
"There's no-one else" means there's no-one else
right now
"I'm not trying anything on" means I know you
don't want to but I reckon if I keep trying you'll give
in
"He doesn't understand me" means I'm feeling
unloved
"I'd like to take you out some time" means this is my
last desperate attempt to pull tonight
"You're not my type" means you make my skin
crawl
"All men are useless" means I've been hurt, again.