Elvis And I
Denis Leary
Lock 'N Load (1997)

"Tell the colonel he can kiss my ass.
[sniffing] I smell bacon! ...the hell else is in the kitchen?"

Elvis and I order Domino’s pizza with extra cheese
Suckin’ down Formula 44D
Elvis and I put on diapers and extra sheer pantyhose
We never argue or overdose

He says, “Do I look fat to you?”
I say, “No King, it’s not true.
You just have very big bones.”
And then he fires his .44 into the television

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I

Elvis and I put on big belts and drive down to Burger King
He lets me croon and I let him steer
Elvis and I fry up demorol tablets and bacon grease
Torkin’ down microwave tacos and beer

He says, “I don’t wanna be on no stamp, man.”
I say, “King, I understand.”
He says, “My momma should be on that stamp, man.”
And then he fires his .44 into the television

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I

“Yeah, I’d like to make an order. This is Elvis, the King. Yeah, gimme big ol’d bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, extra crispy. No skimpin’ on cole slaw this time. And gimme some of them hushpuppies, I love them hushpuppies. Throw in some bacon cheeseburgers. And a peanut butter and banana sandwich, a big bag of chips, some sausage, and a big ol’ stack of silverdall pancakes. Gimme a six-pack of Formula 44D. Put nipples on the bottles, will ya?”

Elvis and I chop up onions and methamphetamines
We cook ‘em up with some peanut butter and cheese
Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long
Suckin’ down Ny Quil Stingers and cheese

He says, “What the hell’s Lisa Marie thinking,
With that Michael Jackson crap?
She should have married Janet or LaToya or Tito or
even Mahalia Jackson.”

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I...

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"...need to fuckin' slow down on them tacos, man!"

"A check swing by Mitchell. Did he go around? The ump says no. One ball on Kevin Mitchell."
"You know, speaking of one ball, Hitler only had one ball--"